Some-time in life, everyone has dreamed to become a pilot.. :)

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[Pilots se mazrat kay saath]

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Police Interview…

A policeman was testing 3 brothers who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first brother a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first brother answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh… that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second brother and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second brother smiles and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third brother and in a very hasty voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The brother looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.” The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the third brother replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”

[from Internet]

[Baqoul e Sir Hassan Khalid, Chutkalon ki Kitaab se makhooz]

Samundaron kay safar pe niklo, to iss jazeeray pe bhi utarna…

Ali Garh Public School & College, Manga is a residential educational institute, located at Multan Road, half-hour drive from Lahore. The School is running under the auspice of “Tehzibul Aklaq Trust”.

The aim and objective of institute is provision of standard education & training to students for the qualification of SSC Exam, and to ensure their all round development as per true Islamic Values and national aspirations, so as to mould them as really useful and successful citizens for serving the county and the nation.

The existing Manga Project is, in fact, the foundation stone for the proposed New Aligarh University for which the vast area of Manga Campus is an ideal location. The Master plan of the Campus has already been prepared and soon after availability of funds, INSHA ALLAH, the construction work will start. The old student of this school (or of any institution run by the trust) and their children, of course, have the first priority for admission to any department of the proposed University.

The institute is being headed by Squadron Leader Abdul Naeem Khan (Retd), a visionary educationist with rich experience while he has been serving in PAF. I take pride to be amongst his students, and wish him and the institute all the best in years to come.

Website: http://www.aligarhpak.com/

 

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To some people, we owe our lives…

They are called life-savers, mentors, gurus.

For Sir Naeem, we don’t have an appropriate word to describe….

(I could probably write a book on his presence in our lives….)

 

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires…..”

 

Miss you, Shabbir Ishtiaq.. [kisi ki baat chalay, main tumhaari baat karoon..]

Shabbir

Somewhere in the US skies – aboard a USAF plane

L to R:

Sqn Ldr Faisal Aziz, Sqn Ldr Asim Paracha Shaheed, Sqn Ldr Shabbir Ishtiaq Shaheed, Sqn Ldr Aftab Gul & others

English Vinglish…

Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the mundan ceremony of his 10 year old son:
as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..

From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave

An incident of a leave letter:
I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.

A leave letter to the headmaster:
As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

Covering note:
I am enclosed herewith…

Another one:
Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…

Actual letter written for application of leave:
My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave.

Letter writing:-
I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.

A candidate’s job application:
This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

[Sent as an email to Sir Noonari]

Perfection

“This is a very long status, one that I have taken from a another wall, many of you will not bother to read it, but for those of you who do, I think you will find it was well worth the read…… What is the disease called ”Perfection”? We live in communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly figured. “Perfection” is a wife who feels trapped in a marriage to a lazy, angry, small man, but at soccer practice tells the other wives how wonderful her husband always is. “Perfection” keeps people from telling the truth, even to themselves. My husband is adorable. He called me a whore this week because I smiled at a stranger. When I started crying, he said he had a game to go watch. I love him so much. “Perfection” is a husband who is belittled, unappreciated, and abused by his wife, yet works endlessly to make his marriage appear incredible to those around him.

 

”Perfection” really does keep people from being real about the truth. You would have laughed, guys. She said that I suck at my job and will never go anywhere in life. Then she insinuated that I was a fat, rotting pile of crap. Isn’t she the best? “Perfection” is a daughter with an eating disorder that keeps it hidden for years because she doesn’t want to be the first among her family and friends to be imperfect. She would give anything to confront it, but she can’t because then the “Perfect” people would hate her as much as she hates herself for it. “Perfection” is when a son has a forbidden addiction, and despises himself for it. “Perfection” makes us believe that nobody else could understand what it is like to be weak and fall prey to the pressures of the world. “Perfection” is a man who loathes himself for feeling unwanted attraction toward other men. “Perfection” is a couple drowning in debt, but who still agree to that cruise with their friends because the words “we don’t have the money” are impossible ones to push across their lips. “Perfection” is a mom hating herself because she only sees that every other mom around her is the perfect mother, the perfect wife, and the perfect neighbor. I’d give anything to be Mrs. Jones. Today she ran 34 miles, cooked six complete meals, participated in a two-hour activity with each of her seven children, hosted a marriage class with her husband, and still had time to show up for Bunco. What this mom doesn’t know is that Mrs. Jones is also at home crying right now because the pressure to be “Perfect” never lets up.

 

“Perfection” is a dad hating himself because he can’t give the same thing to his kids that other dads do, and then hates himself further because he takes his self-loathing out on his kids behind closed doors. You know what would have been nice? If you were never born. Do you realize how much money I’d have right now? Now come give Daddy a hug because I can force you to give me validation. “Perfection” is a child hating herself because the boys at school call her fat, and when she goes home she tells her mom that school was fine. Her mom never stops to question why her daughter doesn’t have any friends, because her mom doesn’t want to think that anything might be less than “Perfect”. “Perfection” is a man feeling like a smaller man because his neighbor just pulled in with a new boat. “Perfection” is a woman who is so overwhelmed that she thinks about killing herself daily. “Perfection” makes it so that she never will because of the things people will think if she does. How could I make my suicide look like an accident? If I kill myself, I don’t want anybody knowing that I ever had any problems. She never stops to look at why she wants to do it, because healing means admitting imperfection. “Perfection” is a man who everybody heralds as perfect, and inside he is screaming to be seen as the faulty human being that he always has been. Because to no longer be “the perfect one”, that would be freeing. “Perfection” is a woman having an affair because she’s too afraid to confront the imperfection in her marriage.

 

I could go on. This is all a small sampling of the disease called “Perfection”. You have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, extended family members, neighbors, friends, and children who are ALL these things, yet none of us will ever know. “Perfection” is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you’re infected.

 

The good news is, there is a cure. Be real. Embrace that you have weakness. Because everybody does. Embrace that your body is not perfect. Because nobody’s is. Embrace that you have things you can’t control. We all have a list of them. Here’s your wake-up call: You aren’t the only one who feels worthless sometimes. You aren’t the only one who took your frustrations out on your children today. You aren’t the only one who isn’t making enough money to support your lifestyle. You aren’t the only one who has questions and doubts about your religion. You aren’t the only one who sometimes says things that really hurt other people. You aren’t the only one who feels trapped in your marriage. You aren’t the only one who gets down and hates yourself and you can’t figure out why. You aren’t the only one that questions your sexual orientation. You aren’t the only one who hates your body. You aren’t the only one that can’t control yourself around food. Your husband is not the only husband who’s addiction sends him online for his sexual fulfillment instead of to you. Your wife is not the only wife that is mean and vindictive and makes you hate yourself. Maybe.

 

The cure is so simple. Be real. Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just “talk”. People are desperate to talk. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most “perfect” people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it. You’ll love them for it. And you’ll love yourself even more……. ”

 

(Dan Pearce – Single Dad Laughing)

Wo aakhir dekhtay kiya hein…!?

People have always asked (and will keep on asking) this question.

Those in civvies ask this out of either curiosity or regret. Fellows in wardee ask this out of astonishment or, may be guilt…. 🙂

“Aakhir wo ISSB kay doran banday mein kiya dekhtay hein..?”

I won’t answer this question right away.

However, based on experience, may I list down a checklist for prospective candidates as they prepare themselves to come over for tests, and as they are puzzled (read misled) by a host of training centers, books and coaching / briefing sessions by ‘specialists’…..

(This holds good for ISSB, FPSC or any other personality testing scenarios, and as such forms a checklist for any thing and every thing in life…)

 

1. Follow the selector’s instructions very thoroughly and meticulously.
2. Follow timings, dress codes, places as instructed with care and consideration.
3. Self confidence, positive effort and optimistic thinking will help to sail through difficult situations easily.
4. Social behaviour is an important aspect of group testing, and must be kept in mind while interacting with peers and during tasks.
5. Remain natural and spontaneous, but not too frank.
6. Go through newspapers, TV shows and other media for general knowledge and current affairs.
7. Stay ready for outdoor events, with special focus on physical agility and fitness.
8. Common-sense is the name of game in all tests, which must be preceded by intelligence, analytical thinking and considered estimation of objectives versus efforts.
……all the luck