Men’s Rules…

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules  from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

1. You have enough clothes

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh, they deserve so much

Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them an education

🙂

[from Internet]

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Military Humour…(at last)

http://hilal.gov.pk/index.php/hilal-urdu/item/1912-2016-02-11-08-53-05

After a long time, someone right ventured into this, and rightly did so..

After Kakooliyaat, Gentleman-series, Aath Baj Gaye Janaab and Aik Dafa Ka Zikr Hae, we had starved for good military humour… Col Zia Shahzad has written a piece par excellence…..

Keep writing,

Keep spreading contagious smiles..

Masterpiece – 5 [Goongi Sochein….]

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[by Dr Mehboob Alam Khan, Alig]

Writings by Akhtar Abbas

http://www.dawn.com/authors/4801/akhtar-abbas

Akhtar Abbas is more than a friend.

He’s more special than most, way sensitive than most, mega truthful than most and much much humane than most.

Alhamdolillah! Time has proven that he was blessed with high degree of faith, dedication, focus, sense of purpose and consistency…

He has been blessed with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, superficial relationships (so that he will live deep within his heart).. He’s been blessed with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people (so that he will work for justice, equality and peace)… He’s been blessed with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war (so that he will reach out his hand to comfort them and change their pain into joy)…. And, he’s been blessed with the foolishness to think that he can make a difference in the world (so that he will do the things which others say cannot be done).

God Bless you, Akhtar.

Naam Kahaani….

These are my random / tatter-thoughts on names (Pakistani names in general, with origins from Arabic / Persian or local languages)…

  • Names without “nuqta” are distinguished ones.The number of “nuqtaz” in a name defines the extent of passion in personality, with ever-increasing nuqtaz ending up with negativity of passion.
  • Names starting with “zabar” depict strong, assertive personality. Such people live in present. Names with no “zabar” indicate submissive personality. Names with “zabar” (once or more) indicate progressive and effective persona.
  • Names starting with “zer” depict mildness and unassertive-ness. Names without “zer” generally exhibit assertive qualities. The number of times “zer” is in a name, is the extent of personality’s weakness.
  • Names starting with “pesh” indicate forward-looking people, who are always glancing into future and planning things. Their future perspective is very strong.
  • Names with “double-zabar” or “double-zer” are indicative of objective individuality, with conviction and positive attitude / effort towards their goals.
  • Names with “shadd” in them depict strength.
  •  The number of alphabets in a name depict their liability. Shorter the name, more focused is the personality.
  • A balanced name, with assertive qualities must have no “zair” in it, with combination of “pesh” and “zabar”. However, it may contain “double-zair”.
  • Names chosen with specific reference to personalities bring along the characteristics of that very personality.
  • Meanings of names also bring in relevant traits.

More Oxy-morons… :)

Act Naturally
Government Organization
American History
United Nations
Computer Security
Political Science
Diet Coke
Female Drivers
Fair Trial
Reality TV
Honest Politician
Healthy Competition
Income Tax
Live Recording
Mercy Killing
Native American
No Comments
Only Choice
Peacekeeping Force
Pacific Ocean
Personal Computer
Peaceful Protest
Police Protection
Political Leadership
Accident Prevention
Precision Bombing
Professional Wrestling
Pure Milk
Public Service
Easy Payments
Recoilless Rifle
Silent Woman
Tax Free
Unbiased Opinion
Working Lunch
Zero Tolerance